TV Rants & Ramblings: Teen Wolf Season 3 Premiere – “Tattoo”

Teen_Wolf_2011_Title_cardMTV’s Teen Wolf comes back with a rather interesting start, definitely hitting the intrigue button for what the season has in store.  Yet through it all I have this creeping feeling like I might need to worry for my guilty pleasure.

Time Jump

Here are the things you need to know about the four months between this and last season.

  • Something was put in the water to make the freshman class look like they should have graduated college a few years ago.
  • After breaking up with Scott, Allison escaped to France like we all do when things get rough to mend from her mother’s suicide.  She has also come to an agreement with her father about leaving the supernatural life behind, putting down their weapons and giving up the hunt.  We will see how long this lasts, but I really want papa Argent to help Scott out against the Alphas.  As for Allison, she can stay away because last season she became a different person that I did not like.
  • In order to deal with Colton Haynes’ departure from the show, a joke about An American Werewolf in London serves to explain where Jackson has gone.  Apparently he also learned how to control his newfound werewolfliness from Derek.  It pretty much felt like how they explained away Megan Fox in the 3rd Transformers.  And no, this will not be the last time I mention Transformers.
  • Lydia has been getting her horizontal groove thing on.
  • Scott has learned how to read, is learning new words everyday, and even spent some time in summer school to better himself, making his mother proud (thank God she didn’t freak out too much and leave him last season).  His vocabulary is probably better than mine now, which is the sad part.  I don’t even look at my word of the day app anymore…  For the record, I was going to try to work it into this section, but there’s not really a natural way to bring up a random instrument called a zither when talking about Teen Wolf.
  • Boyd (I seriously had forgotten his name since he was really just known as the other werewolf in Derek’s pack that was basically just there to be a third without doing a whole lot) and Erica went missing after the Alpha pack showed up at the end of last season.  We do see at the end of the episode that they are still alive somewhere, sitting next to a mark similar to Allison and Lydia’s snazzy, matching forearm bruises.  I suppose this is also where Isaac would have ended up had Scott and Derek not interfered with his kidnapping from the hospital.

The New Girl

I’m fine with those two characters being gone, I am just glad that Isaac is still around because he was really coming into his own at the end of season 2.  Plus, his entrance of getting defibrillated with a car battery was pretty awesome.

Unfortunately before we get to learn anything about Isaac’s motorcycle-riding savior, or why the heck she was looking for Scott and called him an Alpha, she gets killed off.  Boo.  It’s ok though; there are still about 80 other characters who have decided to evolve into two-wheeled motorists, if you were worried about getting your fix of motorcycles now that she’s gone.

The Twins

I thought it was a cool idea to have twin Alphas, but I live in a world of comedy so I was hoping for some potential in that vein, while avoiding the failings of the twins from the Transformers movies.  As far as I know these twins are mute, which doesn’t bring about that much humor since they have yet to break into a routine of miming.  Granted the season is still young.

For now we just get our laughs from the weird looking effects of this show, starting with their speed running, though I was at least happy they didn’t run on all fours like Scott did to open season 2.  But that wasn’t even the worst part about their introduction: can someone tell me what the heck that whole melding together thing was!?  That has to be the dumbest thing this show has done yet, and I am still not a fan of the Kanima.  I just don’t understand why they couldn’t be their own characters, though I suppose whoever came up with this idea was just going for something that looked neat as opposed to what makes any sense.  I was just hoping the show would stick a little more believable even though it’s in the realm of supernatural; but no, we’ve got Megazord on our hands (that’s a Power Rangers reference for all the uncool kids out there).  And now all I want to know is what happens if one of them dies?

Kamikaze Wildlife

If the running effects were weird for those two, we go back to another scene of awkward fog to hide the ridiculous look of visually effected running as a dear comes out of the undefined road in front of Lydia’s car to kill itself with a windshield to escape having to witness the awkwardness that was Allison and Scott trying to decide if they should avoid each other or confront their issues face to face.

Seeing this action, the crows of the town decide to upstage the buck with a mass execution that basically went a little something like the frog scene from ET, but in reverse; and far more violent.  Speaking of, wasn’t there supposed to be a remake of The Birds being made?  …I may have had too much caffeine…

I would have to say that what the cats (?) did to themselves at the vet was probably the most disturbing of all the self-inflicted animal violence.

The Alphas

So far I am not really impressed with this group, and I am afraid they are going to be lame characters like Peter was in season 1, before he was reanimated into someone much cooler and funny.  That, and I really hope the Alpha who will now be known as “Creepy Toes” puts some shoes on because this is not The Shire.  Seriously though, I would take Frodo’s nasty hairy feet over those toenails any day.  And when you are impersonating a nurse or anesthesiologist or whatever at least dress the part and put some Crocs on.  Seriously, did no one think to bring up her lack of professionalism?

The only Alpha that I am intrigued by is the blind leader who is doing a great job at his Agent Smith impression.  He has to have a pretty intriguing backstory to garner the respect of a group that relies on strength as their power.  Not saying he can’t be strong, but in the animal world I doubt the inability to see at all is thought of as a good thing to help with survival.  Then again, bats exist…  So there are ways around shortcomings.

But most importantly, why are they afraid of who Scott will become?  There better not be some prophecy out there…  Eyes will roll.

Final Thoughts

When do we get back to the Scott and Allison romance!?  That’s what I am looking forward to the most, that and more Sterek time, but for now we have some Alphas and animal mysteries to deal with.  It wasn’t the best season premiere, but it was far from the worst, and I did appreciate Scott’s dedication to getting a tattoo after he finally explained why it was so important to him.  I just need someone to explain to me how Stiles was strong enough to hold Scott down to give Derek enough stability to create those straight lines with a blowtorch.  A blowtorch!  At that point I think I would just spend the time with a Sharpie to redraw my tattoo every morning.  Plus it must also suck that werewolves can’t get anything too intricate tattooed on them.  Oh well!

So what did you think of the season premiere?

Teen Wolf S3Ep1

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